Friday, August 13, 2010


So I woke up today and refused to get out of bed... because it's Friday and it was 6:30, and I really just thought if I stayed there long enough, it would magically become Saturday and I wouldn't have to get up at all. But that's beside the point. The point is that as I was laying there I could hear all of these squirrels running around on my roof. I think also they slide around on it. I really just live in one big echo-y room, so all of these little clawing noises are kind of amplified and funny. So I noted them and ended up facing reality and getting out of bed.

And then I got all ready and walked out the door and there was a squirrel upside down on the tree trunk outside facing the ground... AND it (I think it was a he, but I really can't verify that because I'm no squirrel veterinarian) was making a noise. It (he) kind of sounded like a bird, or like it/he was coughing up something - "wheezing" might be a better word for it. And THEN there was another squirrel that was hidden from my view (in a bush I think) that was making the same noise back. They were squirrel talking is basically what I'm saying. Actually, in the real time scenario, I'm determined that these squirrels are in the beginning stages of a mating ritual, so I spend some time (too much time) watching them to see if anything sexy happens.

Nothing sexy happened.

So I went to work, where I silently wondered if I missed out on some Plant Earth style nature by leaving. It was at that point that I looked up, "How Do Squirrels Mate?" on I learned, first of all, that they mate in January - so at this point my theory is pretty much blown (although my aforementioned statement that I'm not a squirrel vet was verified). All that aside, I did learn these very interesting facts: First of all, in the mating process, the lady squirrel plays hard-to-get and makes the gentleman squirrel chase her around for days. And second of all, baby squirrels (called juveniles when they're first born - which is silly) are born completely furless and blind. And weigh less than 2 oz. And if they're in danger and need to be moved, the mom squirrel carries the babies IN HER MOUTH to a new location. They fit into a squirrel's mouth! That's insanely tiny for a living, breathing, naked-blind-juvenile-squirrel.

That's all I've got.

Additionally, let the record show that I tried to take a picture of a squirrel, you know, in the spirit of cohesiveness... but as it turns out, squirrels are quite elusive and don't revel in having their picture taken. So, I got distracted and took pictures of butterflies instead, because they are prettier and more cooperative.

1 comment:

  1. This is my favorite post you have ever written.
    I don't know what that says about me.